Sunday, 22 May 2011

First-time Mum - what no-one tells you

I'm new to this game of parenting and I wish that people had told me some key things before I headed down this road. I've decided to list the five that have made the biggest impact to me.

1. When people say your life will change they don't actually say if it is for the better. Yes I love my bub greatly but I mourn my life before her B-day. I mourn for leaving the house with just your keys and some cash. I mourn sleeping until 7am uninterrupted. I mourn quiet dinner times. I mourn a tidy house. But I love the smile on my face when she burrows in for a cuddle. I love her smell. I even love sticky jammy fingers all over my face.

2. You will become obsessed by unusual things: poo, food, eating, toys, baby clothes, oh and your baby.

3. Sleep is a luxury and the poor sleeping continues well past the time that they're one. I had such high hopes. The week I went back to work she slept through every night and now four months later hasn't put together two nights sleeping through.

4. Guilt begins immediately. From the moment she was born and I felt guilty that I didn't have a water birth like I had planned and it has continued every day. And I expect it will continue for eternity.

5. There is no such thing as having it all. I need to work and I'm good at and I enjoy my job (sometimes). However the guilt I feel when I am at work is huge, overwhelming and often too hard to cope with. And then the guilt I feel when I am at home and not working is huge, overwhelming and often too hard to cope with. The 11 months I had off were great and I made friends and I enjoyed my bub. No I feel like the friendships are failing as I am the mum that works the most and I am constantly stressed when I am with the bub as I scramble to get everything done. Like I said you can't have it all.

Oh and I don't get to bake as much as I used to. For shame.


  1. Hang in there.
    My kids were all appalling sleepers, and didn't sleep through the night till they were past two! I don't know how I (or they) survived.
    Being a mum is the toughest gig you'll ever take on. And you won't know if you got it right for many years.
    But the rewards are awesome.

  2. Thanks Toni. She still doesn't sleep well but I'm learning to deal with it and as you say the rewards are truly awesome.